A charmingly funny, deeply relatable manual that offers a blueprint for building social confidence from the inside out.
Dubois begins with a disarming admission: she’s no natural conversationalist. Skipping any slick formula, she shares childhood hideouts, clumsy greetings, and long silences to show how the wish to connect often tangles with self-doubt, then offers a kinder path built on awareness and small, steady steps. Drawing on both psychology and lived experience, she moves from the basic mechanics of calming the body to the subtler art of making a first impression. Early chapters introduce grounding exercises and breathing techniques that act as quick resets when anxiety threatens to take over. From there, she layers in lessons on body language, colour cues in clothing, and what she calls the “ping-pong rule,” a simple reminder to keep conversations moving back and forth rather than slipping into monologue. Her “Mental Pit Stops”—short reflections and micro-exercises scattered throughout the text—encourage practice in real time.
Dubois has a knack for turning big psychology ideas into tips you’ll actually remember. A “stealth breath” becomes a way to self-soothe in public without attracting attention; a soft, authentic smile replaces the forced grin of customer-service politeness; mirroring another person’s relaxed posture becomes a subtle bridge to rapport. These strategies are delivered with a comic sensibility that makes even the most technical sections—on active listening, reading social cues, or decoding the emotional weight of colour—feel inviting rather than clinical. Underlying the tips is a philosophy of authenticity. Dubois dismisses the notion that winning people over depends on show-stopping charm or a complete personality overhaul. She encourages readers to hold their ground when anxiety stirs, to listen with honest curiosity instead of preplanned lines, and to treat stumbles as natural—and even likable—parts of interaction. Her two dogs, Squid and Calamari, serve as light-hearted mascots for this philosophy: one radiates quiet composure, the other bursts with unruly enthusiasm, proving that real connection often blooms far from polished perfection.
Dubois’s prose is crisp and lighthearted. Her anecdotes invite laughter, while acknowledging the sting of anxiety and the slow work of change. By the end, readers are left not with a promise of overnight transformation but with a practical toolkit for incremental improvement: breathe before entering a room, ask a thoughtful question, know when to leave a conversation gracefully, and above all keep showing up. A warm, witty, and remarkably useful guide, the book treats awkwardness as a human constant and connection as a skill that grows with practice.
Readers who loved Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come by Jessica Pan and How to Be Yourself by Ellen Hendriksen will find much to savor.
Pub date August 12, 2025
Calamari Tales
ISBN 978-1990828690
Price $9.99 (USD) Paperback, $2.99 Kindle edition
